I like people who smile when it's raining.

It's been almost 3 weeks now since my shoulder surgery and I'm feeling really good!  Frustrated and difficult to do regular things (like my hair!) but I notice there are times when my sling is off and I make a movement that would have caused me pain previously... now no pain.  :)

I moved for a few weeks into my boyfriends house so I would have helped while I healed up.  I can't begin to explain how generous and helpful he has been.  I've taken over the whole house with my rehab chair and my giant generator for my ice cuff.... my clothes and work stuff.... throw in my daughter and her crap and we are everywhere!  It's been 3 weeks and I'm beyond the time frame that someone can just hold out if they are being nice.  I feel beyond grateful and I hope someday I can repay the kindness.

Anytime I am slowed down for something (like surgery), or on a long car ride, I always end up thinking lots more about things.  It's part of what has helped me work through tough situations and part of what adds to my agony about tough situations!  These past few weeks are no different, except this time I feel this great 'lightness' about things. I realize that me thinking about things, was what was keeping those things in my life - good or bad!

I realize God doesn't give you the people in your life that you WANT but he does give you the people that you NEED.  He may not give you all the situations that you WANT but he gives you all the situations that you NEED.  I've seen both an old boyfriend and old girlfriend in passing these past few weeks, and a funny thing happened.  Although I was in the middle of 14 different things at the time I saw them,  when I had a chance to reflect, I felt more grateful that they came into my life.  I used to have a lot of anger and now... I really hope they are living a life they are proud of and they are happy.  This was a shift for me. And that was that.

I am going NUTS not able to work out. It's so much my nature to just be busy... I miss being able to do everything myself!  I've thought of a million different things I want to do and I'm getting antsy.   I'm also finding myself having a tough time sticking to an eating plan because I can't work out so it seems way too easy to eat crap that is horrible for fuel.   If I was crossfitting, I would be careful because I would know I would be punished in the WOD if I ate crap!  But now..... no punishment!   So I'm giving myself some time, heal up, do whatever my soul needs to do, and looking for my motivation for moving forward.

Speaking of goals - I've got a 40th birthday coming in a few weeks!  It's going to be an amazing year... I have so many ideas and things planned.  I was getting so upset about being in a sling on the actually birthday but now... I see it differently now.  It will be a year of celebrations, trips and new things.

My journey has molded me for my greater good,

and it was exactly what I needed it to be.

I don't think I've lost time.  It took each and every situation that 

I have encountered to bring me to the now and now is right. on. time.

-CFpC